4 a.m.

It's four o'clock in the morning and I just got home from a night out. A few days ago I wrote that I sometimes feel like my life is a story. Well, tonight that story became true....

I hung out with Christen and Amanda tonight...we used to get high together in high school. (I bet you didn't expect that!) Anyway, we were re-hashing old stories about all the times we hung out doing what we used to do...I told the stories that have been most prominent in my memory regarding the "high times," as I'm going to call them. Miraculously, I'm not the only one who remembered! This "story" that is my life, is actual reality. There were bystanders who were there with me, experiencing the same things that I was. And oh, the stories....

We went to BH's for some drinks, there were about 8 of us. We were sitting there, catching up, talking a million miles a minute...then guess who walked over? First I saw Mark, Amanda's husband. Next to him? Lucas. Four years ago, Lucas and I dated for a few weeks...a month? I don't remember anymore. He still looks the same: gorgeous blue eyes, bright smile, see-through-you stare. We had a tough ending...I fell head over heels with him (I've become really good at that), and I thought he with I...he wasn't over his ex-girlfriend, stopped calling...after a week I called him to see what was up...we (he) decided to be "friends". A month after we cut things off, he called to hang out, I bitched him out and that was the end of it. But I never stopped thinking of him. Apparently he didn't stop thinking of me either.

At the bar, I saw him and said, "Hi Lucas." He looked at me and smiled, then took a double-take...he was thrilled (this is what I saw). We were both excited to see one another. We hugged a big one, starting talking. First thing, I apologized for being a total bitch to him and explained why. He completely understood and said he was never mad at me, only disappointed that we didn't get to hang out as friends afterwards. I told him that I really liked him back then...I was also disappointed that things hadn't worked out. We chatted a while, talked about a few old things, introducing a few new items to the conversation.

After the bar, we all went to Justin's house. I had no idea we were going, as Mark was driving. We hung out there for almost four hours - the girls with margaritas in our hands (I had just a few sips, I know that I'm a lightweight and would be driving home) and boys with beers. It turns out that Justin married Jessica, a girl I used to be friends with in high school. This is all irrelevant to the my-life-is-a-story theme, but I'm just remembering the night. Lucas was there too. The guys all work together, so there's the connection.

I have told that Lucas story to so many of my girlfriends, especially when random dating stories are exchanged. It always felt like this one-sided story that I told, never knowing the other half, how Lucas felt and was dealing with it. He may well have liked me as much as I him. It was incredible to see him and realize that we both played a part...he recognized my place in the story and I recognized his.

It was like a full-out time warp tonight.