Closure.

The good thing about right now is me. I sit here in the dark, fan on, beating the heat and thinking that I am finally able to move on. You shook my world for so long...you made me see the future, you loved me intensely and endlessly, and then, fearfully, you pulled it all away from me. We played tug-of-war with our relationship and our emotions, never knowing for sure in which direction we each wanted to move....

Thanks to our recent reunion and swapping of "I miss you"s, I had the opportunity to re-evaluate the future of our relationship. Would it work again? Could we go back to that first time, that first date, that first moment that we knew we wanted to spend our lives together? I so deeply wanted to feel comfortable with having you in my future [again], but something just wasn't right.

We hung out by the lake and I kept my guard up. I let it down. We walked to the ice cream shop and, though we were holding hands, I told you that I felt disconnected from you. You agreed. We agreed that we had "issues" to be resolved and discussed, but where was the magic? The flame that started the fire had become but a withering ember...and so it was.

Two days later I ended it. For good. I want to be your friend, but right now I need more time for me. And, honestly, I want you to stop loving me so hard. I will always love you in an intense way, just not at the same intensity level as I did just last Spring. If I catch a bouquet at a wedding, I won't wonder when you'll have the gusto to get a ring...or just plain old ask! I might wonder who's next in my future, because now I move forward. Let 'er rip baby!

p.s. You may no longer have the rights to be the focal point of this blog. I'm making space for new adventures. Thanks, baby, love you.