Grandma Alma’s Eulogy

I would like to share something very special with you. I had the honor to present my grandmother's eulogy at her funeral on Monday the 15th December. When I first approached the lectern, I was unsure of my presence, of my confidence. But once I began reading and saw the glowing faces of my family and friends in the congregation, I knew I had a purpose. Every memory, every story that you will read below brought various emotions to me and those present at the funeral. My grandmother was one of the most incredible women I have ever met. I will always remember that I am blessed to have known her for so long, and that she was strong-bodied and sharp-witted enough to reach her 89th birthday before finally giving in to her fate. I hope after reading this eulogy you will take a piece of my grandmother's spirit away with you and share it with others. It was her beautiful spirit that we all loved so much about her....

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Thank you all for coming here today to help remember and celebrate the life of Alma Margaret Cocito Bonito, a woman full of grace.

Grandma was a woman of conviction. She was faithful, honest, selfless, loving and patient. She had a passion for life, her Catholic faith and most importantly, her family and friends.

Grandma was a long-time congregant of Saint Mary the Morning Star Parish. Many will remember her involvement with Saint Mary’s Bazaar, preparing dough for the fried dough booth with her family and friends. She prayed at home and hung a crucifix over her headboard, a sign of her undying faith.

In addition to the church, Grandma was a member of the Dalton American Legion Auxiliary, the Association of Marion Helpers, the Ralph J. Froio Senior Center, the Portuguese American Club and the Greylock Federal Credit Union Quality Time Club. She donated to many non-profit organizations, including the VFW and showed her support by hanging the Buddy Poppy in her car.

In life, Grandma proved to be a woman dedicated to her work. After high school she worked at W.T. Grant retail store, then for Pittsfield Novelty, assembling purses. Along with her daughter Linda, daughter-in-law Linda and the Tucker girls, Grandma catered with Millie Bernardo at Temple Anshe Amunim and other locations. At the temple, she developed relationships with the congregants, some of whom are very close to our family today. For over twenty years, Grandma worked at S&J Variety, where she made the greatest impact on people’s lives. To this day, folks still praise her sweet demeanor and positive attitude in the workplace. My sister Stacie worked with Grandma at S&J Variety, learning and adopting her strong work ethics, while still taking the time to ask customers and friends about their lives and their families.

Family life was Grandma’s priority. She took great pride in watching her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren grow and blossom into beautiful human beings. As a young woman, she lived with her parents and sister, then with her husband Albert and his parents. After that, she and Grandpa lived with their daughter Linda and son-in-law Francis. Her sister Elsie and her family only lived a driveway away. After Zia Elsie passed away, Grandma became the matriarch of the family, adopting her nephews and their families as her own. She became the “go-to” woman for the entire Bonito and Lucaroni families.

Grandma’s door was always open and unlocked, announcing one’s presence with the ring of a bell. She was usually home and available when we needed her most. If ever there was a loose seam, Grandma was ready with a needle and thread to fix it. If we were sick and feverish, she was prepared with a cool washcloth and a loving smile. If there was an empty stomach, she would offer a sandwich; and if it were near to the holidays, a slice of her fresh-baked apple pie or Vauvau’s picadu (meat stuffing). She drove the kids to their sporting events and then stayed to cheer them on. She almost never missed a choral event, theatrical production or graduation for one of the kids.

All of this applies to her friendships as well. She was deeply connected with her friends, visiting them in her free time, writing letters and making phone calls. She was up-to-date on everyone’s lives, yet never gossiped.

Keeping a calendar of events was very important to Grandma Alma. She was timely and generous when it came to birthdays, anniversaries and other special events. Grandma sent greeting cards to all of her loved ones and long-time friends, no matter where they lived…and she was rarely late. Almost every card arrived a few days early or exactly on the day of the given event.

In her free time, Grandma kept up with the local news or watched the Red Sox play on television. When Grandma and Grandpa were younger, they took the train to New York City to watch the Red Sox beat the Yankees...or so that’s how I imagine it. In her later years, Gram would sit and talk for hours about the Red Sox if you so desired.

Besides her treks to New York City, Grandma loved visiting Cape Cod. She traveled with family and close friends: with her parents-in-law, husband Albert, three children, many cousins, Alice and Bob, Dick and Mary Pierce, Dilinda and Albert Tavares; and they would visit their cousins the Geoffreans, who had a house down at the Cape. After Grandpa died, Grandma continued visiting the Cape with her girlfriend Alice for girls’ weeks at the shore. Her other favorite beachside destination was Florida, spending time with the Motlins, Alice and Bob, her daughter Linda and son-in-law Francis, and various other friends. But Gram didn’t like to fly, so she traveled via car train with Grandpa. In her retired years, Gram went on senior bus trips with her friends to the theatre and the casino.

Despite her never-ending care for her loved ones, Grandma took excellent care of herself and her health. She had the softest skin in the world, due to her daily application of Avon products. She got her hair done every Friday at Joseph on the Mall. She ate balanced meals and avoided junk food. Grandma took the time to visit her deceased family members at the cemetery, watering flowers and maintaining the grave sites.

I’d like to share with you some of our fondest memories of Grandma Alma. Most of them occurred at her home on New Hampshire Avenue, our safe haven, full of love. On warm summer days she could be seen leaning out the back window, hanging wet clothes on the line. We might find her kneeling in the garden pulling weeds or gathering fresh tomatoes for sauce. In the fall, Gram would grab her broom and a smile and sweep the leaves from the sidewalk. She took great care of the aging pear tree in the yard that was born before she was. Every visit to her kitchen meant peeking in the cookie drawer...which was always full to the brim. On visits with Mr. Maxwell she played her lottery and scratch tickets, but never formed a habit. Walking through the house, you can still find hundreds of bells that were collected by and for her over the years.

** Here, my family and I rang some of my grandmother's bells that we brought to the church with us **

There is an Eskimo proverb that states: "Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy." Tonight, may we all look up to the stars and know that Grandma has found her way home again.