bird on a wire

It's the title that popped into my head this morning as I was dressing for practice. I'm coxing today!!! I'll be in a mixed four consisting of two teen moms and two other rowers, a third whom I believe is also a teen. I haven't coxed in about a year and a half, since the summer/fall of 2006, while I was still living with Allie. I found my old coxing notebook in my tool bag, with notes of which rowers sat where, our warmups, drills, etc. Great reference. I still wish I had saved all of the paperwork from Kerner and Rick...they could be precious to me someday (if I ever coach myself or really get into coxing again).

Just like that bird on the wire, I feel as though I have recently been sitting above myself, watching what is happening below. Perhaps some of that is just plain old hindsight.

I've been afforded (if you can call it that) the opportunity this week to think with some extra clarity, reasses some of my emotions and "plans" for the next year ahead. Of course there have also been my usual hippie-based daydreams of throwing my stuff in the car and taking off across the country until I land somewhere liveable for a while. I think I can still do that, if I plan seriously and apply to school first.

Today mom finds out which research group she's in for the clinical trial. I'm excited and very anxious to find out. I'm sure she'll be off the edge of her seat all morning until Wanda, the nurse from the trial, calls with the news. I pray for her to be in the monitoring group, which receives no drug (well, I don't actually pray, but I can't ever think of another word to use...because it's more than just thinking, is it begging? but to whom?) On the other hand, it would be just as well if mom was chosen for the Interferon group of the trial...it could potentially reduce her recurrence risk by 5%, while also potentially making her sick for one month. The good news about that is that by the time she's too sick to go to work, to depressed to crack a smile or too tired to get out of bed in the morning, it would be the end of her treatments. Also, Dr. Atkins said that all of the side effects (except one cosmetic result of the drug) are completely reversible. So it's really a win-win situation! Good luck today mom....

Signing off - it's time for a quick snack before practice, yahoo! Gotta go rig the boat.