Sometimes I feel like the strangest things affect my emotions. Take tonight, for example - I watched the Sex and the City movie. It had a huge impact! It made me miss my closest girlfriends (okay, that makes sense), then it made me long to find the love of my life and start my life with him (again, makes sense)...but I cried and cried...and cried! I'm a sap, I cry at the movies, reading touching articles and, yes, the occasional commercial. But for those of you that know me, you know that I can be rough and tumble too! I can arm wrestle, do push-ups and pull-ups and hang with the boys. I just cry more than they do!
Alas, there are a lot of big things going on in my life and I guess all of those things combined have me a bit on the emotional side these days. My closest girlfriend has finally come back to the East coast after four years of living over 3,000 miles away, YIKES! And still, she is 5 hours away and I am waiting a couple more weekends before I drive down there. I already told her I'd pay her gas mileage if she drives up here and ((the catch)) helps me clean out all my stuff for my "big move"...isn't that what best friends are for?
Speaking of the "big move" - you know I spent six days in Colorado checking the place out, trying to see if I could see myself living there. And you know what? I can. I wasn't entirely sure at first, mostly due to the fact that the week wasn't perfect. There were some "issues" while I was away, but no day goes unwrinkled...so why should my little vacation be any different?
Besides those two huge issues, I am living at home with two crazy roommates (i.e. mom and dad) who are in the midst of a huge project - renovating the kitchen and upstairs bathroom. The bathroom is almost finished, thank goodness, but the kitchen probably has another month or so before it's all completed. There's been some arguing over details and harried decision-making that comes with the stress of a big home project, but overall it's going quite well...now that the wheels are greased and turning. So yeah, living with my crazy roommates is a little jilting at times.
Another thing? Jobs. None. Well, that's sort of a lie. I have a waitressing job in the restaurant where I worked all summer, but I'm a little bored of it. I also have the same brainless holiday job lined up that I had last year if I want it - making holiday gift baskets for the specialty food store in town. I gotta admit, my baskets last year were gorgeous! The boss is a little crazy, but a great guy to work for.
Wait a minute...who isn't crazy that I know? HA! Probably no one...especially not me! I'm a crazy bitch just the same.
There you go. A short bit of crazy ramblings and now I'm off to la la land. I have three minutes to fall asleep before the clock strikes 1 am. Don't worry...it's past midnight, I'm already in rags and my teddy bear is no longer a gorgeous chariot driver...he's just Teddy.
15 October 2008
12 October 2008
Iraq
It's something I never talk about. I usually don't think much about it. Sure, I have friends who have joined the military and gone away, so far that I don't talk to them anymore. I even dated a guy once, for a very short time, before he went to Afghanistan. It's incredible to me that something like going away to the Middle East is nothing but a fleeting thought to most Americans. It always has been to me. War happens, lots of guys and gals gear up and head out to fight...some come back, some don't. It's a fact of life, part of our history. It's almost like everyone in this world takes war for granted.
I watched a movie tonight, "In the Valley of Elah," with Tommy Lee Jones and Charlize Theron. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you pick it up. I have seen war movies before, but this one really hit home. To me, it was the closest to real that I've ever seen. We've all heard stories, gotten those email forwards with photos of our men and women overseas, either having fun or struggling to survive. I always delete them. Sometimes I look at the photos, then I roll my eyes and complain that another god-loving Christian has passed a stupid military email along. But now I realize that the military touches most of our lives and it really is important to "support our troops" no matter where they are. No, you don't have to support the administration that might be sending them out, but I think we should whole-heartedly support and recognize the men and women who voluntarily participate in the military and are willing to go overseas to fight for the things most of us take for granted. A long life, freedom of speech, a full bank account, the internet, a walk in the park, new shoes, equal rights...America's not perfect, far from it, but I'm sure glad we've got what we've got.
I don't believe in god, but I do believe in people. I have friends who have been overseas and some who are there now. I realize that I have never given enough notice or thought about them and their daily lives. Some people pray. I just think, reflect. I wonder what life is like over there...and then I go on and finish my sandwich or book my next flight so I can go on vacation and "get away from it all". Not everybody gets a vacation....
Paul got married to Julie and they both moved to Germany so he could be in the Army. I haven't talked to them since their wedding a few years ago. Jeff went to Afghanistan, came home and is now in Iraq. We just got in touch today for the first time in two years. Eddie joined the Air Force in South Carolina, but I haven't seen him since 2003. Kevin's little brother went away, then came back, got married, had a baby and lives in California. Both of my grandfathers were in the military. My aunt served. I have a cousin who died in the Israeli military.
It's a bigger part of my life than I imagined, yet it never occurred to me that I was close enough for it to matter. I still don't know how I feel about "the war in Iraq" or if there is even a war being fought. I'm missing so many details that I don't think I'll ever really know what's going on. All I know is that because of "In the Valley of Elah," I will now take a few more moments each time I reflect upon my loved ones who are in the military now or who have served in the past.
And one more thing - I still have the American flag that belonged to my grandfather, my mom's dad. I don't know if it was given to him upon discharge or if he used to fly it at his house. I was too young to even notice. Since 9/11 Americans have become obsessed with the American flag. I've cringed seeing the flag stickers on people's cars or flags flying outside people's homes. But I really am glad to be here and I'm going to see about getting that rip stitched in my grandfather's flag. Someday I'll thank myself.
I watched a movie tonight, "In the Valley of Elah," with Tommy Lee Jones and Charlize Theron. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you pick it up. I have seen war movies before, but this one really hit home. To me, it was the closest to real that I've ever seen. We've all heard stories, gotten those email forwards with photos of our men and women overseas, either having fun or struggling to survive. I always delete them. Sometimes I look at the photos, then I roll my eyes and complain that another god-loving Christian has passed a stupid military email along. But now I realize that the military touches most of our lives and it really is important to "support our troops" no matter where they are. No, you don't have to support the administration that might be sending them out, but I think we should whole-heartedly support and recognize the men and women who voluntarily participate in the military and are willing to go overseas to fight for the things most of us take for granted. A long life, freedom of speech, a full bank account, the internet, a walk in the park, new shoes, equal rights...America's not perfect, far from it, but I'm sure glad we've got what we've got.
I don't believe in god, but I do believe in people. I have friends who have been overseas and some who are there now. I realize that I have never given enough notice or thought about them and their daily lives. Some people pray. I just think, reflect. I wonder what life is like over there...and then I go on and finish my sandwich or book my next flight so I can go on vacation and "get away from it all". Not everybody gets a vacation....
Paul got married to Julie and they both moved to Germany so he could be in the Army. I haven't talked to them since their wedding a few years ago. Jeff went to Afghanistan, came home and is now in Iraq. We just got in touch today for the first time in two years. Eddie joined the Air Force in South Carolina, but I haven't seen him since 2003. Kevin's little brother went away, then came back, got married, had a baby and lives in California. Both of my grandfathers were in the military. My aunt served. I have a cousin who died in the Israeli military.
It's a bigger part of my life than I imagined, yet it never occurred to me that I was close enough for it to matter. I still don't know how I feel about "the war in Iraq" or if there is even a war being fought. I'm missing so many details that I don't think I'll ever really know what's going on. All I know is that because of "In the Valley of Elah," I will now take a few more moments each time I reflect upon my loved ones who are in the military now or who have served in the past.
And one more thing - I still have the American flag that belonged to my grandfather, my mom's dad. I don't know if it was given to him upon discharge or if he used to fly it at his house. I was too young to even notice. Since 9/11 Americans have become obsessed with the American flag. I've cringed seeing the flag stickers on people's cars or flags flying outside people's homes. But I really am glad to be here and I'm going to see about getting that rip stitched in my grandfather's flag. Someday I'll thank myself.
spinning
Do you ever put laundry in the washer machine and just stare at it as the cycle begins...watching the clothes sloshing 'round and 'round. My favorite part is when the clothes move towards the center and get pulled around vigorously. It is here that they violently get sucked into the center post that is spinning the load in circles.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and where it's going...where I'm going. I recently came back from a wonderful 6-day visit to Colorado (Denver, Boulder and areas around Breckenridge). It had its ups and downs like any vacation (though this one included a teensy bit of rain and a good, old fashioned dog bite) and I came home with a feeling of renewal...at least until I got to D.C. My layover was in D.C. and there was an added 3 hour delay because the pilots couldn't start one of the engines. The worst part was seeing East-coasters again...checking their watches, running around the airport, rushing, rushing, stressed out...it was madness. I quickly inhaled the stress and felt the relaxation leave my body (this was not my preference!). It was the strangest feeling. Although I love the East coast, and the Northeast especially, I can see that this stressed-out theme of big, busy city life really doesn't bode well with me these days.
The best part of my layover was meeting Pieter and Mary Beth - two CT-ers who now live in Colorado. Pieter lives in Boulder and Mary Beth lives just outside Steamboat. Hanging out with them was such a breath of fresh air...a Colorado breeze in my face again, reminding me of how wonderful my vacation was (despite being surrounded by rushing, stressed out East-coasters). Pieter and I shared stories about our lives, our passions, our histories. It seems that Colorado is full of free-spirited folks not unlike me.
So when I look into the washing machine and I see my clothing being battered, I realize that it's not such a bad thing. What's really happening is that they're being tossed around, being woken up, shaken about...that spinning post is saying, "Hey! It's time to make a change! Get excited about life again! Get your ass moving you little shit!" (Well, that last sentence was really something from my subconcious, haha...but I hope you get the point.)
A change is coming real soon.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and where it's going...where I'm going. I recently came back from a wonderful 6-day visit to Colorado (Denver, Boulder and areas around Breckenridge). It had its ups and downs like any vacation (though this one included a teensy bit of rain and a good, old fashioned dog bite) and I came home with a feeling of renewal...at least until I got to D.C. My layover was in D.C. and there was an added 3 hour delay because the pilots couldn't start one of the engines. The worst part was seeing East-coasters again...checking their watches, running around the airport, rushing, rushing, stressed out...it was madness. I quickly inhaled the stress and felt the relaxation leave my body (this was not my preference!). It was the strangest feeling. Although I love the East coast, and the Northeast especially, I can see that this stressed-out theme of big, busy city life really doesn't bode well with me these days.
The best part of my layover was meeting Pieter and Mary Beth - two CT-ers who now live in Colorado. Pieter lives in Boulder and Mary Beth lives just outside Steamboat. Hanging out with them was such a breath of fresh air...a Colorado breeze in my face again, reminding me of how wonderful my vacation was (despite being surrounded by rushing, stressed out East-coasters). Pieter and I shared stories about our lives, our passions, our histories. It seems that Colorado is full of free-spirited folks not unlike me.
So when I look into the washing machine and I see my clothing being battered, I realize that it's not such a bad thing. What's really happening is that they're being tossed around, being woken up, shaken about...that spinning post is saying, "Hey! It's time to make a change! Get excited about life again! Get your ass moving you little shit!" (Well, that last sentence was really something from my subconcious, haha...but I hope you get the point.)
A change is coming real soon.
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